Love is simple enough.

            Ahhh, love. What is it exactly? I dislike that question because it is so quickly abused as a cut and paste piece of “philosophy.” But I like it, too, because it is easily the deepest question known to man. This is a topic very near and dear to my heart. If you ask anyone about love, there is never little to say. Perhaps, while one may initially have a brief summary of what they think love is, it only takes a minor stoking of the fires of this surprisingly controversial topic to initiate a complex conversation about love. In fact, of the many conversations I had about love, I have never completed any of them.

            I enjoy writing about love. I almost feel dutifully called to do so. God is love after all, what is more important than learning about than Him? There are many different ideals of love in this world, from many different perspectives. In the field of Psychology, for example, some see different forms of love as various combinations of intimacy, passion, and commitment. I like to research these different ideas and concepts of love and see how they interact with one another, all the while working towards my own theories about love. Because of this little passion of mine, I absolutely loved reading this piece from Ray Carver.

            What is Carver’s hidden message? What is he trying to say? What is the symbolism here? Is this story like a traveling onion or a French feast in anyway? These were the questions I approached my blog with. This was wrong of me. I realize now that there isn’t really “the right thing” to get out of this story. To respond properly, I must consider what exactly I thought about as I read this story:

           

            What do we talk about when we talk about love?

            This seems like a silly question. This answer is love, of course, right? Maybe the it’s not so simple. The problem with discussing love, is its mystery. Few agree about the many aspects of love, so what are we really talking about when we talk about love? We’re talking about our ideas, very likely heavily influenced by our experiences. When we talk about love, we discuss possibly the most biased topic around. Carver shows this splendidly. Even just the differences in the concept of love between the two lovers, Mel and Terri, illustrate this well. Both of their ideas of love stem from largely the same person, but they each have very different perceptions because of their very different perspectives.  When Terri thinks of Ed, she thinks of a man that loved her, but was troubled and misguided in the manifestation of his affection. When Mel thinks of Ed, he thinks of a man that troubled and misguided about most things, hardly capable of love.

            Nick and Laura seem nearly to be quiet observers on the outside of this “struggle” about what love is between Mel and Terri. Nick and Laura often communicate silently with glances or touches, almost as if they know something, but they know better than to interject. Terri seemed much like a confused infatuated youth in her idea of love. Mel, while he did have a number of ideas about love, seemed to be yearning for truth. At times, Nick and Laura seemed to quietly have all the answers. Perhaps, they were hoping to lead Mel and Terri to an epiphany with their guided questions. Then, at the end of their drinking, they sit at a silent impasse, each waiting for the other to succumb to their ideas. Nick and Laura are slightly uncomfortable with some of what has been said. Mel and Terri and both a little frustrated behind their cool facades. Laura finds Mel captivating, but cynical at times. Nick thinks Terri could learn to offer her input in more appropriate ways, and finds her sarcastic. Mel fantasizes about loving Laura, and explores his theories about love coming and going. He gets a small bit of satisfaction when he isn’t harshly disagreed with, and it allows him to imagine a life with Laura. Terri often pushes Mel’s button, but only because she likes it when he is harsh towards her. Ed made her feel alive by physically controlling her. Mel won’t do the same, so she elicits verbal control from him by acting slightly annoying.

            No one wants to go to out to eat. They all feel strangely uncertain of themselves.

            This is indeed how many feel after difficult discussions of love. After all, if your idea of love has been completely wrong, your life is likely quite upside down from where you thought.

            If I had the time (I mean weeks, not hours), oh, how I would like to write more about this story. But, I will instead save that and my further thoughts for other writings. I write about love as it is, this story is simply fuel to my fire. Someday, if your interest is piqued here and maintained, you can discuss with me what I think of love. Either directly or through actively reading what I write about it. Until then, 1 Corinthians 13:4-13.